Passion to glorify Him, that's all you need

I've been struggling with finding passion in what I do for some time now. We've been on a sermon series at church called "in between" and we've been going through Exodus and the journey of Moses and the Israelites. Sometimes I feel like Moses and other times I feel like the whinning Israelites.

So here's my scrambled train of thought and how the Lord has been speaking to me over the past few days. God has given the Israelites a promise and he has given me a promise too. The promise is being fulfilled daily as he provides for the Israelites and for me. The Israelites still whine and are unsatisfied with where they currently are and well, that's me too. So I was thinking about the Israelites and what was going on spiritually with them. I was really thinking about this "in between" time of waiting and obedience. Even though it seems simple it dawned on me that even though I might have lost passion for what I do, irregardless of that my first passion should be to glorify the Lord and that should be enough. So I started my day with that attitude and boy is it hard sometimes. I found myself throughout the day slipping into "whinny Israelite" mode. So for now I'll continue to walk in the Lord's will during this "in between" time and strive to glorify Him each day even on the toughest of days.

a challenging Sunday

I work in advertising or should I say I am a slave to advertising. Today at church, Pastor Jonathan spoke about keeping the Sabbath day holy. And not legalistically as most might understand this. It hit me hard because even now I am working, so you see why I was so convicted. Right now just taking a break to vent and process what I heard today. So we should keep the Sabbath day holy because doing so glorifies the Lord. He rejoices in us resting in Him and we need it. I know I need it...time and time again I've seen how my body, mind and spirit just can't run at the pace this industry demands. So I'm left thinking how to find that balance...it's really not acceptable to say you can't meet a deadline; yet I am challenged and I desire to honor my Father in heaven.

a new favorite song

Hillsong United's new CD is filled with powerful lyrics. So far this is one of my favorites!

Desert Song

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer and my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

you have called us to greatness

yet we continually fall short of that. the demands of the day were too much and instead of having a good attitude about it i got grumpy. which only makes things worse. on top of work that needs to get done still at some point tonight there was class that i had to attend. a three hour lecture that i really had no intention of going to because of the pile of work that was waiting for me when i got home. but God was whispering to go until finally i jumped in my car and headed to class even though i was already late. on my way there i might have shed a few tears and i thought well i'll stay for about an hour and then head back to get my work done. i think i was mostly disappointed in myself because ONE i was not in the best of moods and TWO i don't want work to interfere with my class but it does. i got to class, sat down and was still in a sour mood but THEN the lecture got good and i knew i was sitting there because God had lots to tell me. "missions exist because worship doesn't" i heard the lecturer say. good ole' John Piper statements never grow old. that wasn't everything, the woman was full of great stories from her experience - struggles and triumphs - that were ultimately all for His glory. i'm excited about the stories that i'll get to share some day.

This Post is for...

...Lauren Tate!

Because she's sad I haven't written in a long while.  

The past few months have been a rollercoaster ride of emotions, trials, blessings and miracles are rolled up together.  What can I say...I do feel like I've grown through it all. 

I'm moving finally - after four years of living by myself to a house that has been in the family of friends that I've made in Charlotte for several years now.  We call it "The Nut" and I'll be living there with my great friend Jenn!  

Getting back to the beginning about the rollercoaster ride; I don't think I've written in such a long time because so much has happened and I don't know how to succinctly put it into words. So maybe I'll get to it some day.  But for now it resides in my heart and mind and in the ears of some of my closest friends. So I leave it at that.  

Adios!

Hand it Over Peeps

It is a great peace that comes from our Father when we are exactly where he wants us to be. This has been top of mind recently because of many decisions that I've had to make in recent months. Dad has been guiding me through it all and I'm so very much at peace with where I am that it gives me goosebumps. I know that they say that God has his hand on all, but the past few months he has shown me that sometimes He also likes to stir the pot too and shake things up a bit for us. Charlotte has been a place where I have been pruned and I'm certain that there's a lot more pruning to do while I'm here.  Our sweet Lord is so faithful and knows our deepest desires and supplies all our needs according to His purpose.  I don't know the exact details yet of His purpose but it's not for me to "worry" about.  He's leading me to missions and I'm not sure where or exactly when but I'm certain of His calling.  After seeing Him orchestrate magnificence over the past few months I know and He has shown me that I have nothing to worry about. When we hand things over to Him, He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine and that's exactly what He's done.  So hand it over people!!!  

thoughts after a movie...

I need to vent.  Frustrations that I know are already in my heart and not just politically regarding the war but also my frustrations with American idealism.  It's remarkable how much you can do in a country or even a people group within our own borders when you respect the cultural nuances.  And I don't mean you have to give up your "goals" as an outsider trying to bring about change, but you are more likely to bring about a lasting transformation if you learn about the people you want to change and begin to live as they do.  And I know you must be thinking "live"...I won't ever do that.  I want to challenge you that "to live as they do" can take on many forms, just step outside of your comfort zone - you'll know when you've stepped outside of it.  We are so mechanically trained to be insensitive and to manipulate people with our power, money and even (at least we think so) our presence. We prance in bringing all our ideals demanding others to become "exactly" like us.  There is much to be learned about our enemies and allies that would make us a better people.  But even though we might see our moral failures and insensitive bureaucratic approach to change, our conscience sets it aside for another day and we continue to strive to change the world just as we did the day before.